I am watching to stay informed. I am drinking a beer while I do it. I keep falling back onto my rhetoric class for tomorrow, thinking of teachable moments. It isn’t working. So I had to vent it all out there, basically in real time.

Reasons (so far) that the Republican convention’s speeches are making me sick to my stomach.

Rudy Guiliani

• In running through Obama’s resume, Guiliani paused after saying he worked as a “community organizer,” laughed, then said “what?” The audience began to laugh. Guiliani continued to laugh and said “what is that?” then said “ok, maybe that is the first problem with his resume.” Maybe it is because community organizers work 120 hours a week in the poorest areas of the country, where these Republican fancy-pants have never set foot that they have never heard of organizing.
• Organized chant erupts in the crowd. “Drill baby drill.” Encouraged from the podium. So much for foreign oil or those windmills in McCain’s ads
• Guiliani brought up “Islamic terrorism” as a watchword that Democrats are unwilling to say for fear of offending someone. Gee, political correctness is a negative for a presidential candidate. Or, is it being able to pronounce multi-sylabic word.
• Trying to paint him as a flip-flopper. Suggested that Joe Biden should get his VP slot in writing, because Obama might change his mind.
• Boos for the United Nations. In general.
• Palin is the most popular governor . . . in the 3rd least populated state in the country. Is that a selling point?
• Palin does not represent MY generation, thank you very much. I don’t need to dress like a sexy secretary to get the “good old boys” to take me seriously. Nor would I hold up my pregnant 17 year old daughter as an example of how I am against abortion, while telling everyone else in the race she is off limits.
• “How dare they question if Sarah Palin has enough time to spend with her children and be vice president. When did they ever ask a man that question?” Seriously? Seriously? First of all, Obama said he would fire anyone on his staff if they brought up her personal life, and mentioned he was the child of an 18 year old mother. To whom is he referring?
• Rudy, hogging the spot light to the very end, pre-empted the video that was to “introduce” Palin to the crowd. The organizers decided to skip the film, cause, everyone already knows her already, so we just need to stay on schedule.

Sarah Palin

• The announcers on ABC tell us that there was a speech written for the VP pick before Palin was selected, written primarily for a man, but when she was nominated, they “scrapped it” and found someone to write a speech that was more suited “to her personality.”
• Why is Palin the only person who ALWAYS refers to McCain as “John S. McCain”? Or maybe I missed it.
• Slight side note- the video back drop for the speakers is much less impressive then the fake White House facade behind Obama.
• If this is Palin’s chance to introduce herself to America (as the announcers keep saying) why is she only talking about McCain?
• Did she really just say make a call to all the families of special needs families? Really? So much for families being off limits.
• Todd, life long oil worker, but we aren’t going to talk about that pesky little DUI. Sounds like our current president.
• She read a quote from an unnamed writer about how great small towns are, in reference to a habberdasher from Missouri, who turns out to be Truman. She grew up with Harry Truman? People like Harry Truman? People in Missouri? Small town people? There was really no antecedent to that sentence. Sigh. I suppose there are teachable moments.
• She just compared herself (and hockey moms) to pittbulls. The difference: lipstick.
• Small town mayors are like community organizers except they have actual responsibilities . . . I bet those poor community organizers around the world would be more then happy to trade your salary and “responsibilities” for their 120 hour weeks, bad pay and difficulty work. Quit picking on the people out there who are doing a necessary job for the unfortunate people that the government has forgotten.
• Newt, Huckabee and other Republicans seem less then excited during her speech. WTF?
• She sold the Alaska government luxury jet on Ebay? Seriously?
• She is allowed to joke that her kids miss the Governor’s mansion chef, but Hilary can’t say she doesn’t bake cookies?
• She used that “Thanks but no thanks” line for the “bridge to nowhere” again, even though it has been shown she was a flip-flopper on that issue.
• I know she has only been the nominee for like 72 hours, but you think she could whip up a new speech. Or at least rephrase the same points. She is reusing a ton of material from her announcement speech, right down to the jokes.
• Our top concern when a hurricane hits the gulf is that we shouldn’t have to pay for higher foreign oil. Right. Um. Have you not been paying attention for the past few years?
• Take it from a girl from the most beautiful wilderness in the US . . . we can afford to drill it. Repeat chanting.
• They won’t say Obama’s name.
• Ragging on him for writing to memoirs but not a bill in the Senate. Nice. I have to admit, that was a good point.
• She really does seem to think we can win all the wars we are fighting.
• Ragging on the fake columns behind Obama for his speech. She is just jealous he got a cooler backdrop. (Nice slight on the “hollywood studio lot” though. Smooth)
• Failed to mention that all those taxes he is going to raise are on the top 1% of Americans so that everyone else can get a tax break. Sigh. There is that rhetoric thing again.
• Naming off swing states now. I hate it when the Democrats do this too, but Obama is a little smoother about it. He doesn’t just go through a list.
• Maybe if someone looked up the definition of community organizer, you would see that it too is a career about change too. Perhaps we should start a campaign to mail literature on how to become a community organizer to the RNC.
• Harry Reid, head of the majority party in Washington, “can’t stand John McCain,” which is the best accolade they need? So much for bi-partisan, reaching across the aisle.
• She called McCain a fellow. I think you stop referring to men as a “fellow” when he turns 50. Maybe 60.
• If people don’t stop repeating the quote that she is “one tough cookie,” I am really going to get mad.

Whew. I am exhausted. That was tough. Personally, I think picking on community organizers is a mistake. They will organize those communities against you right quick.